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The Church encourages you to use dating as an opportunity to show your respect not just for others, but for yourself. She won't look at anything "anti-mormon" but if it's on LDS. When missionaries come home, they are like top dog religious people. I understand your internal conflict completely and my heart goes out to you. During those years, I think we had about 5 dinner dates. I knew this bothered me, but it wasn't until I read this section that it hit much how much it bothered me and how alone I feel. I just pray daily that no matter what we end up doing we are 30 min or less away from each other. My wife and her family are a good example of this. I appreciate my own space too, but it felt shitty to have this great time with him and not get so much as a text until we are making plans for next time.
Several of the apostles have grown up in part member homes. Most want nothing to do with the church. I hate to say it, but I don't see this ending well. I explained to her that from my perspective, if a religious person does something good, you can't trust them because they're doing it for the wrong reasons: When an atheist does something good, you know they're not doing it for any reason other than to help someone else. All of my siblings who married in the church 1 discussed getting married on the first date 2 were engaged within two months, and 3 were married within six months. Which is the highest place in heaven aka celestial kingdom. Over the years, it would have felt increasingly burdensome to accommodate practices that seemed to me like superstition. Sure I have met alot of douche bag doctors who have no morals, think they are 'it' and you know that they feel free to cheat whenever. There are billions of other girls out there who I wouldn't have issues like this with.
