Last Saturday I was selectively browsing Tinder when I came across this gorgeous-looking girl. Naturally I looked at her bio to see if her personality was as beautiful as her face. She was into bike rides, Game of Thrones, and corny jokes. She deserved a chance, and so she got a right swipe. My heart skipped a beat. There were butterflies in my stomach. I struck up a conversation with my best corny joke, and she replied.

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Once upon a time, right about now, there is a legendary hero and her name is Angry Vagina. Like any self-respecting and noble Cave of Wonders, Angry V has always done her part to inspire cravings for salt, stockpile jewelry, and hide money. But it was never enough. And then it becomes clear - her birthright is to make a difference in the world. In an epiphany, she suddenly realizes her need to fill a void.